The Best Ways to Anger the Golf Gods and Ruin Your Golf Life

We all know that golf is not an easy game and invoking the anger of the golf gods only makes it worse. Here are some of the most important things to avoid in order to escape their wrath and you may not even be aware of them until it is too late.  So pay attention.

A good example of what I am talking about is Phil Mickelson. Over the years the gods have punished him repeatedly. In the words of David Feherty after watching Phil’s aggressive playing style;

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

I have come to the conclusion that Phil’s problem is that he has a tendency to get overconfident and the gods hate that.  It’s like he goes out of his way to tempt them.  They do, however, let him get away with it like hitting a long from behind a pine close to the hole for eagle at Augusta, but sooner or later they get their revenge.

In my 40+ years of playing golf I have even come up with names for them. They each have a specialty. There is Maxoutus, God of Very High Scores. There is Nerveitus, God of Yips and there is Ralph, he just screws with people for no reason.

Earlier I mentioned overconfidence. Overconfidence can take many forms. Have you ever said to yourself, “piece of cake? I can double bogey the last hole and still break a hundred or ninety? What happened? That would be Cocktavius, God of Cockiness.

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Cockiness or overconfidence

Cockiness or overconfidence can take many forms and I have had personal experience with it:

  • I know I can two putt from here.
  • I have finally cured my slice. There are a lot of variations on this one by simply changing what you are curing – hook, topped, fat, etc.
  • I have fixed my chipping, putting, fairway woods, and so on.
  • I just hit that shot perfectly

Other things can anger them besides overconfidence.

Losing your temper

Any time you blame your equipment for a bad shot that you hit, you are going to be in trouble and the more you display your anger the worse the punishment is likely to be. Breaking a club is bad, but nothing compared to damaging a green.


Cheating angers them almost as much as overconfidence and in this situation it doesn’t refer to breaking USGA Rules. It means cheating on your buddies by breaking rules you all agreed to. This can take many forms like pretending you found your ball when you really didn’t.Moving it from behind a tree is another form of bad ju-ju.

Golf is a game of truth and respect. Don’t ruin the sport by tainting it with cheating. Just remember in the future to try and avoid angering them because they have an unlimited supply wind gusts on a calm day, lawn mowers starting up on your back swing, and they keep bees on retainer. You will see Ralph occasionally no matter what you do.

Written by BP Staff


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