Beware of the Lurker and the Butch Harmon Wannabe. Having been a golf professional for most of my adult life I have been able to watch people on the driving range, which I find very amusing, and I have noticed a few things over the years that I found fascinating.
No matter where you go the names and faces might change but the personalities don’t. There are certain types of people that you will always find at a driving range. Rarely will you see them all at one time but over time they all show up sooner or later.
The Butch Harmon Wannabe
Another of my personal favorites. This guy has actually read some golf instruction books and watched an instruction DVD and feels compelled to share his vast wealth of knowledge with any poor soul that will listen. Beware of him because he can really screw your game up.
This is my particular favorite. Every time and attractive female shows up to hit balls The Lurker will appear. In variably he will try to start a conversation, usually by offering advice on her golf swing. The depth of his knowledge is having read a few magazine articles and watched the Golf Channel, but this doesn’t deter him from imparting pearls of wisdom like “you need to keep your head down.”
If the woman is the friendly type and doesn’t want to be rude (which is the only way to get rid of him) he will eventually end up touching them.
The Guy That Brings His Girl Friend
This is usually early in the dating process and for some unknown reason thinks she is going to be impressed by his ball striking ability. At some point in time this will eventually lead to him trying to teach her to hit a golf ball. For some unknown reason, this usually can only be done by standing behind her and reaching around so he can show her the proper golf swing.
The Champions Tour Hopeful
He is easy to spot because he will be carrying at least four large buckets to an isolated part of the range and will usually have alignment rods and some way of videoing his swing.
Look around you the next time you are at the driving range and see how many of these guys you can identify. It is a wonderful way to break the monotony of hitting balls.